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Letter from

JERRY BILT 13

I was looking through my newsletter paperwork at the back of the filing cabinet the other day when I came upon this large envelope (somewhat crumpled) from our friend Jerry Bilt. Inside was a disposable bed sheet with a message written in crayon. It seems Jerry was trying to explain certain terms he had heard mentioned during one of his many stays in the hospital.

This contribution has not, up till now, ever been published in our Society newsletter - or anywhere else for that matter.

The Editor

Dear Mr. Editor,

I have spent the last few weeks in this nice hospital. They have been quite nice to me but they won't let me bring my favourite telephones into the ward to keep me company. Seems the ringing of the bells in the dead of night upsets the other patients.

Just like in telephone collecting, the terms used in a hospital can be quite confusing. I have done some research while I have been here and, as a service to ATCS members, I have compiled a list of some commonly used terms used in our hospitals. You never know, this may help you in the future....

Artery......The study of paintings
Bacteria......Back door to cafeteria
Barium......What doctors do when patients die
Benign......What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section...... A neighbourhood in Rome
Catscan......Searching for Kitty
Cauterize......Made eye contact with her
Colic......A sheep dog
Coma......A punctuation mark
Dilate......To live long
Enema......Not a friend
Fester......Quicker than someone else
Fibula......A small lie
Impotent......Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain......Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff......A Doctor's cane
Morbid......A higher offer
Nitrates......Cheaper than day rates
Node......I knew it
Outpatient......A person who has fainted
Pelvis......Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative......A letter carrier
Recovery Room......Place to do upholstery
Rectum......Nearly killed him
Secretion......Hiding something
Seizure......Roman emperor
Tablet......A small table
Terminal Illness......Getting sick at the airport
Tumour......One plus one more
Urine......Opposite of you're out


I hope this helps you - but it didn't help me a lot!

Regards......Jerry.

Not a lot about telephones but it shows Jerry is still "with us". It may help some members when they get overcome with the terrible "telephone collecting bug".

The Editor.



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